Dear people,
I was sitting on a bus and the guy next to me was watching a very intersting-looking movie. I kept looking at it out of the corner of my eye but finally gave up fighting the Spirit and started praying. I thought about how conflicted I was inside. I really wanted to look at this interesting, fun thing but I was held back becuase Jesus' work is so boring and strict. A phrase that I thought was from Preach my Gospel came into my head saying "When we repent we change our thoughts, behaviors, and desires that are not in harmony with God's will." I looked it up later and the real phrase is "thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors" but my version did the trick in that moment.
I acknowledged that I had a desire that was not in harmony with God's desire for me. I explained this discovery to Him and told Him that I want to change that desire. It worked very quickly, I got opened up the Gospel library and started reading where I had left off in Gospel Topics. One thing led to another and I stumbled across my new favorite talk by Elder Bednar in April 2006: "That We May Always Have His Spirit to Be with Us"
"The standard is clear. If something we think, see, hear, or do distances us from the Holy Ghost, then we should stop thinking, seeing, hearing, or doing that thing. If that which is intended to entertain, for example, alienates us from the Holy Spirit, then certainly that type of entertainment is not for us. Because the Spirit cannot abide that which is vulgar, crude, or immodest, then clearly such things are not for us. Because we estrange the Spirit of the Lord when we engage in activities we know we should shun, then such things definitely are not for us.
I recognize we are fallen men and women living in a mortal world and that we might not have the presence of the Holy Ghost with us every second of every minute of every hour of every day. However, the Holy Ghost can tarry with us much, if not most, of the time—and certainly the Spirit can be with us more than it is not with us. As we become ever more immersed in the Spirit of the Lord, we should strive to recognize impressions when they come and the influences or events that cause us to withdraw ourselves from the Holy Ghost."
Changing that desire was very exciting and refreshing. Since that experience I've noticed other times when what I want to do has been in conflict with what I know brings actual happiness. I've had major fails and some successes.
If we take time to think about our choices we will realize that we know which choice will lead to real happiness. We tend to avoid thinking with real intent. We are afraid that what we realize is right will conflict with our current desire, so rather than being willing to change our immature current desires we rush to act and distract ourselves.
We are changing the term "investigator" to help change our mindset about it. I wish there was a word to swap for the term "repentance" and give us a new mindset about it. It's just being honest with ourselves and admiting that what we thought would make us happy won't. Admitting to God that Jesus Christ was right, we'll stop being so stubborn we'll listen to Him.
Yesterday I told someone who has been meeting with missionaries for a long long time that "We don't want you to pray. We don't want you to get baptized. We want you to be happy, and we know that these doing these things will lead to your happiness."
God doesn't want us go to church or fast or to act out the law of Moses. He wants us to be happy. And He knows and He tells us how.
Love ya lots,
Elder Brown
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